Press Conference
by SporkGoddess
Summary: Not really a parody, but hey. A certain recently-abused character holds a press conference in her defense. If you hate Allenby, come in. If you like the current state of fanfiction, please do so as well. Warning: Severe bashing inside


Just so you know… yes, I am bitter. Yes, it does show in this fanfic. I'm past the point of caring. I am not directing this at one bad fic, mainly because recently they are all the same… so that's not exactly an issue. 

I am extremely tired of the constant, unprovoked Allenby bashing. Sure, I was the president of the anti-Allenby fanclub, but at least I treated her with the respect that she deserves. Stop making her out to be the next Relena; she does not deserve the antipathy that she has been receiving. I am Rain's biggest fan, but Allenby is a great character and if you love G Gundam as much as you say, then you should treat all of its characters with respect. 

And, it's not like Domon or Rain are completely innocent. Domon did not say anything to stop Allenby, and Rain merely proceeded to get jealous in a very childish manner.

In the words of Bright Noah: "Feel free to hate me, I don't care." If you flame me, fine. I do not want you to laugh at this fanfic if you are guilty of anything that I have harshly pointed out in my story. If you do, you are a hypocrite and therefore I can have no respect for you. 

I love G Gundam. I love it enough to respect characters and give a fanfic my all. This may not be high-quality and it may not even be very IC, but it comes right from my heart. 

I did not hold back any bluntness. This is my way of fighting back, of trying to improve the quality of the G Gundam fandom. It won't work, I know. But what kind of a fangirl would I be if I did not try?

This is not a parody. I am not just screwing around. I am not trying to be cute, I am trying to make a point no matter how sharp it may be. Even more than this, though, I am also trying to defend someone who has been unjustly persecuted by people who have no right to do so. 

To my fellow veteran fans: I hope that you enjoy this. I had all of you in mind when I wrote it.

BEFORE I GET ANY REVIEWS REGARDING THIS: I do not; I repeat, do not, hate every new fan. This is not directed at all of you. You should know who you are.

One last thing: If you flame me, at least be cohesive about it.

- SporkGoddess

It was a beautiful June day. The sky was clear and blue, only blemished by puffy white clouds that make one think of cotton candy. Mmm, cotton candy. Ehrm, where was I? Oh yes, the day was beautiful. Just perfect for a… press conference? What the heck? Well, okay, a press conference. 

It was being held outdoors, at a park. But the setting does not matter. What does matter is the fact that it was being held at all, and for whom. The latter was standing at the podium, a man in sunglasses behind her, the type who would nod every so often and sometimes say to reporters amongst the crowd: "Okay, okay, that's enough." 

She was a woman, dressed in a casual outfit and her hair windblown. Her green eyes scanned the crowd, and despite the circumstances of the event she never stopped smiling.

"I am Allenby Biazury. Yes, Biazury. I don't care what the dub says. It's bad enough that I have fangirls after me, then they have to go and make my surname something as stupid as…"

The man behind her laid a hand on her shoulder; she stopped abruptly, glanced around, and cleared her throat.

"I mean, I am here today to clear up some issues. First, I shall field some questions. Yes, you in the back."

A young teenage girl stood up, wearing a t-shirt that said 'George's mine and you can't have him!!!!!'

"Yes, I have a question for you Miss Beardsley."

"Biazury." Allenby corrected politely.

"Okay, Miss Beardsley, here goes. Do you not deny the fact that you interfered with true love… much like Maria Louise interferes in my love with Georgie-kun?" 

Allenby gritted her teeth, obviously fighting back something. "I admit that at a time, I loved Domon. I remind you, however, that Rain did not do anything to indicate that he was hers. How could I have known?"

The younger girl did not look convinced, but she sat down. 

"Next?" Allenby asked.

This time a man stood up. "I was wondering if you would go out with me?"

"No. Next question." Allenby sighed.

Another girl stood up. She was wearing a Inu-yasha shirt and wasn't much older than the first girl. She cleared her throat and looked through her notes (which were, actually, a sketch of Spike from Cowboy Bebop.) After finding the proper words, she spoke:

"Why are you such a dumb bitch?"

"How many episodes of G Gundam have you seen?" Allenby asked.

She held up her hand and started counting. "Umm… four? But I've read all about it online!"

"Sure you have. Next question," Allenby ran a hand through her hair.

Another girl stood up, Heero Yuy's icey glare peering out at everyone from her shirt.   
"Omae o koroso, baka onna! Rain is cooler!"

Allenby was about to respond with something along the lines of "What the fuck did you just say?" but the man behind her stepped in front. 

"I will field this one." He removed the sunglasses, and it was evident that he was…

"WONG!" A few people cheered, but he held up a hand to silence them.

"Yes, I am cool, I know." He grinned. "But I must defend this poor girl… then I can sign autographs. Now… to answer this inquirer… Do us a favor and go back to Gundam Wing, because idiots like you are actually celebrated there."

He gave the microphone back to Allenby, who nodded in concurrence and asked for the next question.

This time, a woman stood up. She was beautiful, with shining blue and pink hair, and her nametag identified her as 'Mrs Sue-de Sand'. Her outfit was ridiculously slutty, but of course on her it looked stunning. Or so they would have you think.

"I can understand why people hate you. G Gundam fans hate me too. They just can't understand great characters such as…"

Allenby blinked. "No offense, but you aren't a character."

She pouted cutely "Yes I am! I'm Chibodee's long-lost rebellious American sister who loosened George up with my hip hop, sexy dancing, and rock n' roll while hiding from my angsty past and then besting that prissy Maria Louise, who graciously gave in and allowed me to have my one true love… but then my abusive ex-boyfriend showed up as a Gundam Fighter and…"

Allenby shuddered. "Thanks for the life story, but I get the point."

"But…"

"She said 'Enough.'" Wong said firmly. The girl, starry eyed at his brusqueness, sat down and began to plot how she could bring Wong back to life and have him fall in love with Allenby's estranged cousin Aria Blackrose Forchezzo.

This time, another man stood up. "I took an online quiz to find out which Shuffle Alliance member I am, and I got Domon! Wanna test the true extent of my hyper mode?" He winked.

Allenby looked nauseated for a minute, then simply cringed and said something to Wong. A few seconds later, Markirott appeared and dragged the man away.

"Okay, I don't think that my intelligence can handle any more questions, so I shall make my final statement." She said. "I would like to remind people that I am only human. When I found out that Domon had chosen Rain, I was hurt. Who wouldn't be? For God Gundam's sake, I told him to go after her, didn't I? And was I also not the one who told him to say that he loves her?"

"Also, I am the only female Gundam Fighter. Rain may be a doctor, but it's not like I am the puppydog that you make me out to be. I accepted that Domon loves Rain, after all. Perhaps in turn you should accept the fact that in the end, I helped the two get together."

A small portion of the crowd clapped; the rest booed. Allenby sighed resignedly. Wong patted her on the shoulder, and she left the podium.


End file.
